we did it!
I know, I know — I should have written this post a longgg time ago. And I’m sorry! Everyone has been asking when I would post the next “blog update” and the more time that went by after we returned home, the sillier it seemed that I would write something up about summiting Springer. It has been 55 days since we flew out of Atlanta and landed back home in New York. Fifty five nights of sleeping inside, in a bed, with a roof and four walls (that aren’t made of nylon). Fifty five days where I couldn’t figure out how to sit down and write about our thru-hike of the Appalachian Trail.
The truth is – I didn’t really know what to write. I know that thru-hiking the Trail with Shawn was absolutely the most amazing, challenging, and rewarding experience of my life. I know that it was so incredibly hard that I honestly didn’t think I would be able to do it. Actually, in the days leading up to our arrival in Harpers Ferry we had talked it through and mutually decided that the end of our hike would be at the ATC Headquarters that’s located in town there. We had already planned to take a zero day in Harpers, so when we hiked into town we checked in to our hostel, ate at the local Italian restaurant (where we split a pizza…as an appetizer), and took the next day off to explore the town. Coincidentally, Shawn wrote the last blog update that we posted from the hostel there that day. The next day, instead of pulling up flights on our phones to find a way back home…we packed up our bags, grabbed a coffee, and hiked onwards to Virginia. The funny thing is that we never even talked about it. We didn’t discuss the fact that we had agreed to be done there but were now hiking on to the next state. We didn’t even mention to each other that we weren’t doing what we already decided on. We just kept hiking.
That’s the thing about the Trail. You just keep hiking. There were days that we hiked through the most gorgeous of forests, camped next to picture-perfect ponds, or watched sunsets that were so beautiful they could make you cry. But even though these places felt like heaven and we wanted to sit down and stay there forever, we had to keep hiking.
Then there were days where I would have given ANYTHING (literally, anything) to quit and go home. I would sit down in the middle of the trail and just start crying, and I wouldn’t be able to console myself no matter how many jars of peanut butter I shoved in my mouth. But even on those days, no – especially on those days- we kept hiking.
I’m sorry that I didn’t keep blogging the second half of the trail. I wish I had, for the written memories and so that we could have kept you all updated. But every time we got to a town or a hostel we would have a mad rush of showering, throwing the laundry in, eating all the real food we could, figuring out how many days we would have out in the woods before our next town, finding the best gas station to resupply our food bags, charging our phones, calling our parents, trying to get to the post office to pick up whatever piece of gear had fallen apart and was being sent to us as a replacement…the list goes on and on. The last thing I wanted to do at the end of those days was to sit down and blog an entry about how trail life was going. Because at those moments I was so exhausted I couldn’t think of anything to say, let alone anything to write.
As difficult as those days seemed at the time, even those memories are making me melancholic for the Trail.
Another thing that held me back from writing since we’ve been home is that I didn’t want to disappoint you, or to disappoint myself. I spent almost five months hiking 2,189 miles through 14 states, but I couldn’t come up with any sort of life-altering realization or experience. I loved the adventure for what it was – an amazing trip with Shawn that I will remember for the rest of my life. I didn’t have a “coming-to-God” moment, and I didn’t find out the real reason that we are all here spinning around on Earth. I still don’t know what I want to do with my life, and for a little while I didn’t even know if I had changed at all.
Now that we’ve been back for almost two months, I’m starting to really notice the true impact the Trail had on my life.
At the beginning of our hike, way up in New Hampshire, Shawn and I discussed how we wanted to make sure that we kept “trail life” a part of our “real life” after we got home. We had ideas like ‘take more walks’ and ‘go camping when we can’. I thought that bringing “trail life” back into the real world with me would have to be a physically conscious and active decision. But now I realize that the Trail Life mentality has become my Real Life.
Things that used to upset me don’t really bother me anymore. I don’t find myself rushing around every second of every day trying to get nine million things done. I take the dog for several long walks every day, without even purposefully thinking about it. I typically feel pretty calm and centered, even on the mornings I sleep through my yoga class. The Trail taught me about what really matters in life – the people we love, the places we want to be, and the life we want to live. Everything else is just extra background noise. You can choose to pay attention to the rest of it if you want, but you don’t have to when you don’t feel like it. Instead of constantly subconsciously having a to-do list running in the back of my head, I find myself focusing on doing things of quality as opposed to quantity. I smile and say good morning to the man sitting on his step on my walk to work every day. I help my brother out when he needs a ride somewhere. I spend time on the phone with Shawn at night when he’s feeling lonely at bootcamp. And while I’m spending time focusing on those people around me, I don’t even notice the little things I used to fill my time with. Because you decide what matters in your life, and honestly when you think about it it’s all pretty simple.
Simplicity. That’s what the Trail taught me. And I will be forever grateful for it.
To view an insane amount of amazing pictures from the second half of our trip, follow the links below:
4 thoughts on “we did it!”
Emily and Shawn, Congratulations on your most excellent adventure. I was beginning to wonder if you finished this fall since I hadn’t seen any updates. It would have been nice if we could have met when you were coming through the Cumberland Valley of PA. I would have enjoyed meeting you both. I’m planning my next hike for May. I’m into Vermont at this point an am planning 110+ miles over a week. Congratulations again. Brian Haines, AKA Roark (Alice Haines’ son)
Good job, it only took you 55 days. It takes a lifetime for others, now lock it in!
Em and Shawn,
Your pictures were great. Grampa laughed when he saw what you wrote about a million pctures. Not quite that many but lots. I looked at them and then gave Grampa the computer. That is why I am just getting around to leaving this post. What an adventure you two have had. And we got to share it with you. I wish I could have been in Georgia when you came off the trail. Grampa and I are so proud of what you accomplished. Now I wonder what you will think of next. Enjoy having walls, a fridge and a bathroom. And welcome home. Love ya.
So proud of you, Emily! I loved reading your stories. Don’t feel badly about waiting to finish things up. You need time to process big events like these, and usually the lessons come after the experience. You’ll look back on this time and continue to gain wisdom for years to come. I think you’re right about keeping things simple. I’ve always been happiest while enjoying the simplest things, like an early morning walk in the spring. I hope you’ll keep on exploring, keep on smiling and keep on enjoying life to its fullest. Hopefully I’ll see you this summer!